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Letters to Kim

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Because this is a pro-monogamy site, I will not  take letters from people wishing to promote polygamy. The letter below is from  an old friend who sacrificed  everything  for what she believed in. Her letter explains  why many women have chosen to enter into "plural marriages." Respectful debate is welcome...    Kim

From Best Selling Author!

Hi Kim. I just finished reading your book and wanted to write to tell you how moved I was by it. I had first read Susan's book, and had learned so much about the destitute poverty and neglect that women and children were subjected to in the colonies. When I read your book, I was struck with admiration with you for making such strong, difficult, wise choices, again and again, even at a very young age. While the pressure to marry older men with multiple wives was immense, you somehow found the courage to refuse their proposals of marriage, and to wait until you were old enough to marry and raise children responsibly.

 Your descriptions of the colony were so vivid, and I rejoiced when I read about your happy times on the salt flats and at the beach with your cousins and friends. I kept expecting you to be swept up, like your sisters and so many other young girls in the polygamous community, into a neglectful marriage with an absentee husband. The path that you chose speaks volumes about your intelligence and strong will. And it seems your mother and father really did do everything they could, in the end, to protect you from meeting the same fate your sisters met.

I was so sad to read about the horrors that your little nieces and nephews suffered at the hands of Lane, not to mention the abuse that was accepted as normal discipline before Lane even came into their lives. And I was so happy to see the photos of them after they came to live with your grandparents, and with you and Ron. I'm sure they know how blessed they are to have had you enter their lives.

I've been browsing your website and so enjoying the wonderful family photos. I am fortunate to have been married for 12 years to a very sweet man, with whom I have a young son. Like you, I love being "just one wife."

Thank you for sharing your inspiring story.

Warmest wishes,
Michelle Richmond

Kind Words from Chief Writer - Benny Hinn Ministeries

Kim,

I just finished reading Daughters of Zion, and I wanted to let you know how wonderful it is to know that Ron, you, and your family survived those years to be able to tell your story. You and people like Brent Jeffs have put real faces, hearts, hurts, and grit into the stories that have unfolded on television news highlights. Thank you for your honesty and for allowing the world to see what you went through. Best of all, thanks for letting us see how you and your family have “made it through the rain” (as Barry Manilow used to sing). I pray that your words and justonewife.com will be used mightily.

Best,

Darryl Hicks

Chief Writer—Benny Hinn Ministries

Young Girls and Sex 

Last night my husband  and I watched 20/20 about a 16 year old girl who had a relationship with her 24 year old manager at Starbucks. When her parents uncovered the situation they pressed charges against the guy who then spent only 4 months in jail. Now that the girl is a little older she realizes that she was victimized. She was a child and he was in a position of authority. A Starbucks Human Resource person actually questioned the upbringing of the girl, "her parents must not have taught her to make good choices". (She obviously has never had teenagers!) Any business employing teenagers should make their employees go through training on appropriate behavior.   The next 20/20 piece was about Lady Gaga and some other young female celebrity who had a bunch of plastic surgery done. It just makes me think: how are parents suppose to teach their children how to have healthy and happy lives when sex is all around them? It's in half the ads on tv and the Internet, most songs they listen to. Movies are loaded with it. Girls learn to do almost anything to look sexy. Kim, your blog about this is right on! Also, it's very natural for young girls to start realizing their own sexual power and begin to experiment with it. We should expect adult men to understand that a young girl doesn't really want what he thinks she wants.  Thanks for listening...Mary

Hope is Here
   I have just ordered 2 copies of your book from Amazon.com. One is for my personal library and one is for The HOPE Organization's library.  HOPE helps folks out of polygamy.  One of our directors is married to a man who grew up in Colonia LeBaron.  Although HOPE usually helps folks from the FLDS polygamous group, I have read a number of books about the LeBaron sect.
   I have read some great reviews about your book on the Amazon web site.  I can't wait to get my copy.
   Thanks for having the courage to reveal your personal story.  It really helps bring awareness to the abuses occurring in polygamy under the guise of religion.
Elaine Tyler
The HOPE Organization

Hi Mrs. Taylor,

  I read your book!  I just wanted support your effort to educate woman about the problems with polygamy.  One thing to remind people is that polygamy is bad for men as well.  In order for polygamy to work a substantial number of men cannot get married.  Men and women need the comfort of a relationship.

  Sharlene Deskins 

"Love and Strength"

Just 15 minutes ago I completed reading your book. I thank you for sharing with us your life in polygamy, along with the pain of the lifestyle and the senseless loss of so many of your friends and loved ones.  I thank God that you made it through, you must be one very tough cookie.  I know it has certainly been a struggle with the two families and now your family is growing with leaps and bounds.  I wish you all the blessings that God wants for you and your family.  Again thank you so very much for writing your story, I’m sure the process was extremely difficult at times since you were reliving such cruel circumstances.  I wish many more people were aware of a lifestyle that continues today.  I do feel that generally because we don’t see polygamy or live where it takes place that it isn’t something that we ever think of or we think that it happened many years ago.  Carolyn Jessop’s books were a wake up call to the present day horrors that continue. Prayers to you and your family, love and strength on your continued quest help those that are in need.

Judy Smith

Sanford, Maine

In Response to Kim's April Blog 
Hi Kim,
Our kids deserve to grow in a better world. Living in the city,  I have come to realize how bad this world is. All we have is prayer and family left. You can't really trust people any more. When we were kids, we played everywhere and we were safe. Now you have to worry about another kid not liking something about you and shooting you. It is so sad that our kids will never know the fun we had growing up..
           A big, puddle jumping fan 

theHOPEorg.org



Missing Fathers Leave a Void

I am a grandmother raising 3 granddaughters on my own who have never had the love of a father in their lives. On a recent visit with relatives in Southern California my nephew, who is a caring father, hugged and kissed my granddaughters goodbye. My youngest granddaughter (10 years) got a funny look on her face and I realized that this was the first time a father figure had given her a kiss. I am aware of the interaction between other little girls and their fathers and know that this is something I can't possibly replace. I also realized that children, especially little girls, have an emptyness that can only be filled by a father, that has real love for his children. Until this void is filled, they will always instinctively long for and gravitate to people or things to fill it....Sylvia

Melanie Remembers Luke
Hi Kim,
  I don't know if you remember me by name. I worked for Stepping Stone for 13 years, and worked with your dear Luke. I left there in 2007 to stay home with my 3 boys. I came across your site today and I just had to write you a little note.
  Luke has and always will be one of my favorite people. I am so glad to see that you wrote a book about your story and I am looking forward to getting a copy next time I head to the book store. I have always been amazed by the way that your family persevered through such tragedy and manged to stay a strong and loving family.
  It is wonderful to see you using your story for Gods glory. Please tell Luke I said hello. I will continue to keep your family in my prayers.
Respectfully,
Melanie

Why I Chose Polygamy 
  
   OK, here I am. I don't know if anyone is interested in what I have to say or will appreciate my point of view, but boy am I qualified!
   There are a few reasons why a woman would elect to live polygamy. I was never forced into polygamy like some, but chose it because I loved a man that believed in living it. I was married to him for 29 years and had 14 beautiful children. I have been divorced for a little over 6 years.
   The main reason I married him and hence into polygamy was because I loved him so much. He was a man of God and wanted to do what is right.
   We had a saying amongst us that went like this: I would rather have 10 per cent of a 100 per cent man, than 100 per cent of a 10 per cent man. 
   I don't know much about the stock market but I think there is a comparison. If you invest all you've got in something of great potential, what are the odds that you will come out ahead? I invested and "lost", but I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
   Kim, you were and are one of the best friends I ever had. So I don't want to perturb anyone by pointing out anything positive about plural marriage if that is not what you want to hear. Oh, there are plenty of "hairy" stories and heart break too. I am willing to tell it like it is. But I am not a "poor me" person.
   All for now.
   Deanna 

Question for Deanna
I was wondering why Deanna divorced since she appeared pretty happy living polygamy. It would  help us to understand better to include that information.            
Nancy

 Deanna Responds 
   Lets put it this way, Nancy: I ( and others) saw him as a man of God THEN. He was a man on the way up who helped me, who was on the way down. You have to understand that I was a wannabe hippie when I met Sam. He helped me to change the hurtful and wrong lifestyle that I was beginning to embrace as a wild 16 year old.
   The sad truth is that a polygamous lifestyle does not encourage a man to continue the onward climb to "perfection". There DOES exist the rare man who grows in Christ-like attributes and is able to love and guide a large family. But most fall into the various temptations that inevitably accompany a man who is in such demand that he starts to see himself as better or more valuable than the other members of his family. (especially the female part). Add to that a meek and submissive disposition on the part of a wife ( me ) and you have a recipe for disaster!
   Mix well and let steam for 29 years and wha la! you've got a self-centered, brutal dictator and a born again woman who ain't putting up with sh*#.
   My children were denied the benefit of an education, vaccinations, health care, proper food and nutrition, not to mention the selfless love and protection that a father should provide. I was under a spell that could not be penetrated until the suffering was so great that I Had to get rid of him or die.
Deanna  

 

Ruthieandcousins.jpg
Ruth with cousins Donna and Alice

The Beautiful Wedding

Dear Kim:
Paul and I just returned home from Ruthie Wariner's wedding to Alan Centofante.  It was wonderful to see the happiness on their faces as they said their wedding vows, committing themselves to each other for "better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and in health, till death do us part"!  Tears were streaming down my face when I recalled the very long journey that the Wariner and Taylor families have been on, and then to share in the joy of Friday night at Ruthie and Alan's wedding.

To look at your web site and see Paul marrying Ryan and Candace, seeing the  beautiful wedding pictures of Sarah and Ray, the joy just keeps coming to my heart. I am so thankful that  you and Ron have been the example of "one man and one woman" to your family.  It has lessened some of the sadness I have felt for so many years over the lives of your precious sisters, Kathy and Judy and their families. I know you know, that all of us in Aunt Ruby's family have loved all of you, prayed for you, tried to help in anyway we could. I hold all of the LeBaron/Wariner family in my heart and in my prayers and will continue to do so. 

I loved the "Mexico Family" that is still on the hard journey in polgyamy when we met them at Ruthie and Alan's wedding.  Such kind, loving people.  I am still a little confused and dazed by all of it, but I know God is at work in all of our lives, drawing us to himself through His Son, Jesus Christ.  My prayer is that God will continue to work in all of our lives, revealing His Truth to us.  Especially the Truth of "one man and one woman becoming one flesh."  May God bless you and keep you in His care as you stand for what is true! 

May we all continue to reach out to each other in His love, and may His Truth be received by those we love. Dear Kim and family, thank you for the wonderful time we shared in Portland at the Wedding. Ryan and Candace, we missed seeing you and your darling children!

In God's Joy,
Your cousin, Donna Warner

Kind Words

Hi Kim,

I enjoyed your book immensely. It was hard to put it down.

I really believe you were protected by God throughout your life.You had many close calls, but you always seemed to have an inner awareness that something wasn’t right.

I just kept saying WOW! WOW! WOW! With every new episode or experience you or your family had. It was so sad but also so amazing how you realized (given insight) you would "lose me." Also Ron and you were so blessed to see what was happening and get out.

I knew Ruth raised her sisters. But now I have even more respect and admiration for her and you. You and Ron were there for your family.

I’m so sorry for all the loss that you had to experience. My heart aches for what your parents must have felt about getting their daughters into polygamy.Your book would have an impact on anybody thinking of going into polygamy.

Keep up the good work, Kim. God be with you.

Your friend, Carol

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